


girl, you got the chops

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band), X Factor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Genderswap, Roller Derby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-22
Updated: 2012-05-22
Packaged: 2017-11-05 19:39:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/410262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>genderswap roller derby au. all of the boys are girls (named hazza, neely, leah, louise, and zara) and they're on a roller derby team. the first in a series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	girl, you got the chops

**Author's Note:**

> look, i watched whip it a few nights ago and then this happened. i blame this 100% on my wonderful enabler bff who told me it was a great idea and not a crazy one and held my hand while i wrote. this is most certainly not the end of this weird little au, because i absolutely can't resist the idea of more roller derby shenanigans. also, all of them in tiny hotpants. i never said i had any class. i know next to nothing about roller derby and this is unbeta'd, so all mistakes are my own. i hope none are too terribly glaring!

hazza goes by the warehouse on a whim one saturday night. there have been posters around town all week about a roller derby bout, splashy red text over photos of girls on skates in short skirts, and it's impossible for her to stay away from that. she's heard from friends of hers about how crazy it is, this warehouse packed to capacity and beyond to watch these girls skate, and after weeks of being busy during the bouts, she finally decides to make time to come see the madness in person.

the building is already buzzing by the time she gets there; it's full to the rafters with derby fans who are chattering about the teams that are skating that night. the blitzkrieg betties are playing the hellions of troy from two towns over, and from what hazza can hear it's a hotly anticipated match. the hellions of troy lost the last bout they played and they're out for blood -- especially since this bout will decide who's ranked first in the league. it's sure to be a crazy night, and hazza is sure she couldn't have picked a better night to start coming to the derby.

it takes some elbowing but she's able to take a spot near the track, close enough that she's a little bit worried she might take an elbow if things get crazy. that wouldn't be too bad, she thinks, it'd be a great story later at the very least. she wants a souvenir of this night anyway, she knows something special is happening from the electric energy rolling off of everyone in the room.

the energy only gets more intense when the announcer (she says her name is cher, but hazza is unsure if it's a derby name or her real one) picks up the microphone and starts announcing the names of the skaters. daisy nukes, jabba the butt, violent beauregarde, and punky bruiser are the only names that stick in hazza's mind. the rest are a blur of bad puns and tiny shorts, and she's too distracted by the tiny blonde from the blitzkrieg betties to pick up on any others. her name is punky bruiser, and she's got blonde pigtails and gold hotpants and hazza has a feeling she's more badass than she looks. she and jabba the butt (who has on insane gold hotpants that prove she lives up to her name) skate a few laps around the track to help rile up the crowd, and maybe hazza is crazy, but she's pretty sure punky bruiser winks at her.

yeah, coming to the derby was a fantastic idea.

the bout is hard for hazza to follow -- all she knows is to keep an eye on the jammers with stars on their helmets, really -- but it's more entertaining than she ever expected. she cheers along with the crowd every time someone from the hellions of troy goes down, and every time the blitzkrieg betties come out on top in a jam. it turns out that little punky bruiser really is fantastic out on the track. she's quick and vicious, and she's got a wicked grin that comes out every time she skates through the pack or throws an elbow. hazza cheers especially loud when she manages to knock over one of the taller blockers from the hellions of troy, and she secretly hopes that punky bruiser can hear her. it's silly, she knows that, but she wants to know punky's real name and if her grin is that wicked off the track too and she hopes that after the bout she gets the chance to find out.

the blitzkrieg betties win in the end, thanks to an excellent play by jabba the butt that earns them just enough points to take down the hellions of troy. she takes the opportunity to showboat a bit when the team skates a victory lap, pulling off her helmet and shaking out her hair, blowing kisses to everyone gathered by the track. it's a little silly and a little sexy, and judging from the cheers in the crowd, this is the sort of thing they expect to see from her. hazza finds herself cheering too, but her eyes are still on punky bruiser.

now that the bout is over, hazza is feeling a little bit lost. it seems like she's the only person who came alone, the rest of the crowd is breaking off in twos and threes and she's left to find her way to wherever she might get to meet these girls that have held her attention for the night. while she searches around for a locker room or a merch table or something, she rehearses a script in her head, a way to come off as cool to these girls -- really, just one in particular.

lucky for her, she doesn't have to look too long. she recognizes one of the girls from the team, who's still in her uniform but out of her skates. it's daisy nukes, hazza remembers, the girl with dark hair and dark eyes who kept on an intense game face during the entire bout. her badass front has dropped some now as she jokes around with some friends, laughing at a joke that hazza can't hear. it takes a moment, but hazza gathers up a bit of courage and heads over to say hello.

"hey, uh, daisy nukes, yeah?" she asks, cursing herself for not being smooth at all. daisy doesn't seem to mind, though, and she smiles when she turns to hazza.

"that'd be me, but you can call me zara," she says, smiling. "i answer to both, of course. can i help you with something?"

"i was just, uh. well, do you know where punky bruiser is?" hazza runs a hand through her hair, cursing her inability to be cool for once in her life. she's not sure if she feels better or worse when zara laughs.

"you mean neely? she's --" 

"right here, who was asking for me?" neely seems to come out of nowhere, bouncing up next to zara and reaching up to ruffle her hair. she's still grinning like she was on the track; hazza thinks that it's like she's full of fucking sunshine and she barely stops herself from saying so.

"yeah, uh. i just wanted to say you were great out there." hazza shrugs, feeling even more awkward now. all of the scripts she practiced have gone out of her head and she's totally lost now. punky bruiser -- neely -- is even cuter up close, all sparkling blue eyes and messy blonde pigtails, and hazza is amazed she managed to say real words in the face of that.

"it was a good bout, yeah? i saw you cheering out there, it looked like you had a lot of fun." neely winks, and zara chooses that moment to duck out of the conversation, running off to track down their other teammates. it makes things better and worse at once for hazza, but she's determined to keep this conversation going like a normal person.

"i did, uh, it's my first time coming out. coming here, i mean. i'm glad i finally dropped in, this makes me wish i knew my way around on a pair of skates."

"you could learn, you know!" neely seems to light up even more, hazza is amazed it's even possible. "you just need some practice, you could be up on the track with us in no time, if you wanted."

"no, no, i don't think that'd be a good idea!" hazza's protest is half-hearted, and she gives up completely when neely pulls a marker from her pocket and grabs hazza's wrist. she scribbles a phone number on the inside of hazza's arm with a cheeky smile.

"call me, yeah? i'm going to give you lessons. you'll be giving the hellions a run for their money in no time." she winks again before heading off to follow after zara, leaving hazza there with her mouth hanging open. she looks betwen the number on her arm and neely a few times, trying to piece together exactly how that happened, but she's can't really figure out how she went from stammering at zara to having neely's number in the matter of a few minutes.

that doesn't stop her from programming neely's number into her contacts, though. she knows a good thing when it happens to her, and neely is most certainly a good thing.


End file.
